I was at the hospital today for a delivery, an occasion that is normally ripe with joy and celebration, elation and triumph, where heaven meets earth in a collision of beauty and life. I have witnessed the birth of my own child, celebrated with friends and family at the birth of their children.
This delivery was different.
I was sitting at church watching one of the NOOMA dvd's, featuring the teachings of Rob Bell. This particular NOOMA was called Matthew, and it deals with the issue of suffering through loss and the grief and other heart-rending feelings that come with a tragic loss of some kind. I got about 2 minutes into it when I was asked to make a hospital run to Indy. The info I received did not bode well. I was told that the pregnancy had been troubled from the beginning and that the baby wasn't expected to live through the delivery. It dawned on me as I was leaving the parking lot that the issues raised in the NOOMA I had been watching may come to pass in less than an hour.
I arrived at the hospital. I didn't even know the family. One of the cousins of the couple delivering is part of our church. I waited alone for several minutes before I recognized someone. I was very unsure of everything. What do you say to a couple who has just lost a baby, to a family suffering a tragic loss? How do you recover a day of intended joy and all-too-powerfully realized agony? How do you bring light into the dark void of pain? As I sat and contemplated the worst I realized something about how deep the fall of man goes: not even infants-in-womb are exempt from the agony caused by a world full of beloved people who have an insatiable desire for fruit. The fall is deep; the wounds of earth many and increasing. The fracturing of Life has reached into the most innocent and beautiful of creations, stealing the breath of life, the steady beating of a heart, disfiguring faces of cherubs in flesh, and hanging Death on the doorknobs of nurseries that may never be occupied. Grief is an all-too-familiar companion.
"Behold, I am making all things new..."
shalom, matt
Final note: Chloe was born and has too my knowledge continued a fight for life. She has a heart murmer, undeveloped lungs, kidney problems, and a cleft pallet. Please pray for her and her parents, Matt and Krista.
Post Script (8/17/06): I just found out that the baby did not make it. My day is officially ruined.
Tiny Babies and Why Life Stops
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2 comments:
maybe we aren't meant to enjoy life, or at least that isn't the totality of why we've been created. Maybe we are meant to somehow bring life into death, restoration into destruction, to sanctify the earth with our presence. maybe in doing that we find enjoyment. this is nothing less than being part of a movement seeking to bring "Your kingdom come..." to earth. doesn't mean it'll be easy, but maybe that's why we've been placed here as God's reps. "you will be my witnesses..."
life and goodness are out there, we just have to try harder to find it, because goodness doesn't get much press or notice. for some reason we as a culture are attracted to death and destruction and perversion.
excellent thoughts on this and the kung fu article, by the way.
shalom, matt
pain informs us that we still live.
while this story nearly ruined my day... I stopped to realize that this child was blessed not to endure the trials of life, but went to be with her Father.
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