stable door

there is that which is too infinite,
bigness overwhelming finite words
and minds that cannot contain worlds beyond self:
infants too large for wombs
or stables set upon lonely, earthen floors;
voices that push darkness down underneath crushing light
and call galaxies into birth and forward towards death;
breath that infuses Life within life,
turning mere man into amphibians,
and making him long for a home he has never seen.

The Fair, part deux

Read the first post about the fair before you read this one or you will be hopelessly lost, like a child who wonders into the middle of a story and wants to know...

As an addendum to my previous post I would like to add the following post for anyone reading this who works for, knows someone who works for, or knows someone who has a cousin who works for the lottery commission. I would like to propose a new way of playing Powerball, using our cow-pie bingo as a template. You need a fence, a grid, 5 normal cows and one cow painted read (the powerball cow, if you will). The grid would need to be somewhat larger to contain all possible powerball numbers, however many there may be. Pick your numbers and wait for the deuce-dropping to begin. I think this could catch on your midwestern states especially. Of course you could use other animals to play the game as well, since every animal that I'm aware of does in fact poop.

It would really stink (get it? stink.) if you got the first 5 numbers right and the red cow pooped one number off of yours.

This would make you sad.

shalom, matt

P.S. I'll post something spiritual later on this week. I promise.

The Fair

It's county fair week here in Martinsville. There are few phenomenon like a county fair. Where else can you get an elephant ear, a ribeye sandwich and a lemon shake-up in one place? Where else can you go to find a dart game that boasts prizes like framed pictures of 50-cent, Usher, Nicole Kidman, and half of the cast of Baywatch (and who, I ask you, who wouldn't want a picture of David Hasselhoff on their wall)?

I have found something, a game that enters a realm beyond words; where awe and wonder are the only proper responses; where lesser carnival manifestations, such as dunking booths, Tilt-a-whirls (also known as the Spin-n-barf), are reduced to the status of soooo 5 minutes ago. This game is known as Cow Pie Bingo.

And, yes, it is exactly what it sounds like.

The game goes something like this. A grid is layed out on the ground with paint. This grid is fenced off. A cow is placed within this fence. People I would assume pay to pick a square on the grid. And then you wait. You stand around the fence and watch the cow intensely, hoping that the cow drops a deuce in your square. If our bovine companion craps on your space, you, my friend, are the winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it). Only at the county fair can you find such an amazing, entertaining game as that.

Now, if you will excuse me I need to go comb my mullet.

shalom, matt

For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

From Sufjan Stevens' album Michigan. The song title is in the header. He has the greatest titles of anyone...songs are pretty good, too. I find this song particularly beautiful. I'd love to hear what YOU think it speaks about.


__________

I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you.

I was dressed embarrassment.
I was dressed in wine.
If you had a part of me, will you take your time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?
Like a father to impress;
Like a mother's mourning dress,
If you ever make a mess, I'll do anything for you

I have called you preacher; I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven't one,
I'll do anything for you. I did everything for you.

___________

shalom, matt

Being Attentive to the Moment

I know I've talked about this before on my other blog (which is about to die a quick death...and if you listen closely you can hear the blogharbor company scream), but I don't understand how people can be so wrapped up in their own worlds that they miss the wonder of life that swirls about them on every side.

I went to the Children's Museum today with my son. Friday is my scheduled day off during the week (haven't actually been able to take a Friday in quite a few weeks) and I try to do something with my son, you know, daddy/boy bonding time. It's a time for us to sit around, burp and fart, then laugh hysterically about it, knowing that mommy can't yell at us for it. Occasionally we go somewhere, hence the trip to Indy. I noticed while Elijah was playing how many parents and grandparents were indifferent to what their children were doing. One grandparent was sitting on a bench reading. Reading! Call me annoying and nit-picky but it seems to me that the whole point of going with your children/grandchildren to such a place is to enjoy watching them discover, learn, and play. I can't stand watching parents with cell-phones glued to their heads all of the time, while their child is standing by wanting to do something fun.

More and more it seems I'm noticing what is a disturbing trend in parenting. Children seem to be more and more of an inconvenience to their parents, baggage, something to tote around with you like a purse or a piece of luggage. Why the freak would you bother having children if you aren't going to pour your heart and soul into raising them? This was a lesson I had to learn. I've been guilty of it, too (see previous post). I don't want to miss out on my son's life. I only get one shot at it with him. There is no going back to fix the errors. Please, for the love of God, stop having children if you aren't planning on raising them. If you consider them a nuisance or "just something you should do as an adult" then don't bother.

Okay, I'm done ranting. Have a nice day.

shalom, matt

Off Week

I don't know what it is. I don't know why it seems like everyone I know, including myself, is having an off-week, a week where we are short, tired, cranky, and otherwise not ourselves. Part of it is post-CIY exhaustion. For me it's partially post-summer burn-out (6 weeks without much of a day off...also known as breaking the Sabbath). I had a bad day in the office Monday and part of Thursday. This doesn't help things. What I really hate is that I take out my frustration on my family, particularly my 3-year old who is only guilty of acting like a 3-year old. When I'm short, it's with him that I'm the most ill-tempered and short-fused. He wanted me to carry him up the stairs by his ankles (a little ritual we've developed). I refused, telling him (read: lying) that I was too tired. I spanked him when he wouldn't walk up the stairs on his own. I had to sit on him to get him to brush his teeth. He's crying and I'm getting angrier by the second. I put him in bed withought a good night and "I love you." As I'm walking out I hear, "Daddy, come sit with me for a couple minutes." I do, somewhat begrudgingly, wishing he would just go to bed. He reaches out for my hand to hold it as he falls asleep. I give it to him and realize at that moment that he understands grace better than I ever have. As horribly as I treat my son at times, he still loves me and offers me his hand to hold as he falls asleep.

God, I want to be better at living than I am. I'm tired of the old me. I want him to die for good, instead of taking a vacation once in a while and coming back well rested to torture me some more.

By the way, I felt like this picture after I realized all of the above.

shalom, matt

An Opening Riff

This is a picture of me. Actually, this is a modified picture of me standing underneath The Gateway Arch in St. Louis, MO. I took it myself in an attempt to look all emo and stuff. But I digress...

This is my blog, called "A Better Way," a title shamelessly ripped off of a Ben Harper song. This blog is for the purpose of you and I figuring out together, through comment and discussion, what it means to live the Better Way, or as Jesus called it, the Kingdom. I hope you will join in the discussion. I don't claim to know all, or even a little, but I want to figure this out because it is my life. I know of no other way than to live the way of Jesus.

shalom, matt