The Fair

It's county fair week here in Martinsville. There are few phenomenon like a county fair. Where else can you get an elephant ear, a ribeye sandwich and a lemon shake-up in one place? Where else can you go to find a dart game that boasts prizes like framed pictures of 50-cent, Usher, Nicole Kidman, and half of the cast of Baywatch (and who, I ask you, who wouldn't want a picture of David Hasselhoff on their wall)?

I have found something, a game that enters a realm beyond words; where awe and wonder are the only proper responses; where lesser carnival manifestations, such as dunking booths, Tilt-a-whirls (also known as the Spin-n-barf), are reduced to the status of soooo 5 minutes ago. This game is known as Cow Pie Bingo.

And, yes, it is exactly what it sounds like.

The game goes something like this. A grid is layed out on the ground with paint. This grid is fenced off. A cow is placed within this fence. People I would assume pay to pick a square on the grid. And then you wait. You stand around the fence and watch the cow intensely, hoping that the cow drops a deuce in your square. If our bovine companion craps on your space, you, my friend, are the winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it). Only at the county fair can you find such an amazing, entertaining game as that.

Now, if you will excuse me I need to go comb my mullet.

shalom, matt