Follow-up

Despite all evidence to the contrary I'm not about to kill myself. Just so you know. I know the last post was decidedly a downer, but for me it was more than that.

Writing for me is cathartic, even therapeutic. Sometimes, on my worst days, writing brings me out of the funk. On bad days my brain goes into overdrive (in scramble mode) and plays out worst case scenario after worst case scenario, thoughts rushing at me like so many wild animals, bent on feasting on my insides, outsides and upside-downs. Writing serves as a cage, as the animal control officer in my life, so to speak. Writing is my way of capturing those thoughts, caging them on paper, and taming them so that I can go about my day in some sense of normalcy. Living in a funk is never fun, so writing serves as my means of coming out of it.

There is a second reason I write: I know that I'm not alone in my feelings. If me sharing my struggles with my online community (whomever you may be) helps someone understand what they are experiencing in their life then I'll keep doing it. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've read something that perfectly explained and gave language to what I was going through at that time. It was invaluable to me and I want what I write to serve the same purpose for others.

So, long story short, take everything I write with a grain of salt and don't read too much into it. I might just be having a bad day like you.

shalom, matt