My son and I were at Steak-n-Shake tonight, pounding back a couple shakes (choco for me and strawberry for him, which he promptly spilled on our carpet later in the evening). My son looked at the burger making guy at the grill and exclaimed loud and proud, "Daddy, when I get older I can work back there."
Aim high, son, aim high.
shalom, matt
More from Sufjan Stevens. This is from Michigan.
I always knew you.
In your mother's arms,
I have called your name.
I've an idea placed in your mind
To be a better man.
I've made a crown for you,
Put it in your room.
When the bridegroom comes,
There will be noise, there will be glad,
And a perfect bed.
And when you write a poem,
I know the words, I know the sounds
Before you write it down.
When you wear your clothes,
I wear them too, I wear your shoes,
And the jacket too.
I always knew you.
In your mother's arms,
I have called you son.
I've made amends between father and son.
Or if you haven't one:
Rest in my arms. Sleep in my bed.
There's a design to what I did and said.
Does this sound suspiciously like Jeremiah 29:11? "I know the plans I have for you..." This song comforts me. And I love the idea that when we put on clothes God is putting them on too (you know, because he lives in us). Beautiful song with beautiful images.
If you haven't bought any of Sufjan's stuff yet, you are missing out.
shalom, matt
I was pulling out of my neighborhood today, amidst the morning routine of taking my son to day-care, when I noticed on my windshield, just below the wiper blade in front of me, was a baby frog. I had already pulled out on the highway before I noticed this frog clinging for dear life to the air-intake (or whatever you call it) just below my windshield. I was curious about how long he would last as I hurtled down the highway at 65 miles an hour. I can imagine the wind was a little brutal on Mr. Frog (or Steve as I like to call him). I could see his head shaking from the buffeting of the breeze rocketing off my hood. His little air sack under his face was sucking in and out at a fairly rapid pace. I felt bad for him. But, lo and behold, Steve made it all the way to day care and then to church. I was impressed. At one point he was facing forward, like a miniature hood ornament.
I had this thought at some point on my/our journey: my life feels like that more than I would care to explain. Barely holding on sometimes, being buffeted by unseen forces that war over my soul and try to rip me from the grasp of God. I can only pray that God holds on and that I can hold on when I'm stuck on life's hood, like a Cadillac hood ornament...and the driver is going faster and faster.
shalom, matt
I am fascinated by things that are big, things that are big with a bigness that confounds the ability of the eye to take it all in at once. There are some objects, man-made or natural, that simply leave me a gape at the immensity of it all. I love when something makes me feel very, very small and insignificant when I am up against it. My life's quest is to go to places that stagger me with their enormity.
Mountains do this. I use to live in Tennessee at the foot of the Smoky Mountains. While they are not big by mountain standards. They get made fun of by the bigger mountain ranges, probably picked on a lot, too. They are the four-eyed, 98 pound weakling of mountain ranges. Yet, somehow when I'm climbing a part of them or simply driving through them I am overwhelmed by them. The mountains in Arizona that I've driven through on my way to the Indian reservation--rugged, scrub-covered, dry, and unforgiving--bring me up short and cause me to stare dumbly out the window (not recommended if you are the one actually driving, though).
Canyons, powerful rivers, Lake Michigan, and wide-open spaces with skies that go on forever into oblivion, these, too, drive me to simply stand back in awe. They speak of Something infinite that has no beginning and no end, only a vast "middle" that never stops being the "middle."
Tall buildings--Sears Tower, the World Trade Centers, the Empire State Building--man-made marvels of engineering genius stagger me. All I can do is step back and stare up, up, up into a blue sky broken by steel and glass that reflects that hustle of life below.
I am terrified of snakes, but I am struck dumb and paralyzed by the site of an anaconda, the biggest of all snakes. It's mammoth size, stuff Hollywood movies are made of, is simply too much for my mind to take in. Snakes are supposed to be small; this one has simply been created differently, a king among the snakes.
This is all to say that I want to go to Montana. I want to go someplace that is so wide open that cameras are useless in their attempts to capture the scope of the bigness before me. I want to go to places that remind me of my place in the Story, that I am just here today and gone tomorrow; to remind me that I fit into a tiny blip on the time-radar; to remind me to make that blip count for something; and to remind me that there is Something that is bigger than all of it.
shalom, matt
Today is my anniversary. 8 years ago today I married a beautiful woman, full of grace and charm and love and mercy and the heart of Christ. And she got...well...me. I'm not so full of those things, not all the time anyway. Anniversaries make you stop and consider the past ____ years of your relationship. I look back on mine and don't exactly like what I see on my end of things. I won't go into details, because, frankly, it's none of your business. Let's just say, I'm not proud of my husband-ness and, more recently, my father-ness. It seems like every time I try to make a great stride and do it better I slide backward further than where I just was. I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting, beating myself up unnecessarily, but I know what I've been like over the last 3 years or so and I'm not proud. Okay, that's a really depressing post. Sorry. I'm having a bad day (not because it's my anniversary). I hope you all are well. At any rate, here's (lifts a tall glass of Gatorade) to my wife and the grace she has shown me by not shooting me.
shalom, matt
There are times in every man's life where he has to stop and take inventory. What have I accomplished in my life? What goals have I reached? What competitors have I bested? What summits have I scaled? I, being a month shy of 30, have stopped to take stock. I am proud to announce that I can mark a major milestone off of my To-Do List--I have attended a demolition derby.
There are few things more testosterone-filled as a demo derby. Roaring engines, mud, cars smashing the heck out of one another, this is the stuff that makes men manly. The smell of spilled fuel, leaking radiators, exhaust, cigarette smoke, and human body funk hung palpably in the air. It was beautiful. It almost brings a tear to my eye thinking about it. The mullets were out in full force. Suprisingly there were a number of small children there. And when I say small I mean "just-climbed-from-the-womb-two-months-ago" small. I thought it was a little ridiculous to cause permanent hearing loss in your 3 month old, but what do I know.
Welcome to small town Indiana.
shalom, matt
*Not actual photo from derby, but you get the idea, right?
I'm teaching tomorrow at church on spiritual gifts, something we've talked a little about recently as we prepare a new phase in our ministry. I decided that it was time for the junior and senior high students to find out how they are gifted. I took a spiritual gift "test" several years ago and it came out pretty accurate as far as what I know about myself. It is interesting to find out that you seem to have a gift you were not even aware of at the time.
One thing that I realized during my lesson preparation was that the same Spirit, and consequently that same power, that raised Jesus from the dead are available to us. It is He that gifts us to do His work. No matter how many times I hear it or think about it I never cease to be amazed by this simple fact: we are given the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. Stop for a couple minutes and just contemplate that fact and its implications. Seriously, stop reading and just sit back and be amazed by it.
________________________________
Amazing, eh?
I just finished the Chronicles of Narnia this past week. One of the reoccurring themes in each of the stories is Aslan, the Christ-lion, breathing on various characters, particularly when they are lacking some aspect of character that is needed for the moment. Sometimes the characters lack courage, sometimes they need forgiveness. Regardless of what they need they receive it when Aslan breathes on them. In both Greek and Hebrew the word for "spirit"--ruach in Hebrew; pneuma in Greek--is the same word used for breath. In the gospel of John a post-resurrection Jesus breathes on his disciples and tells them, "Receive the Holy Spirit."
God knows how to give good gifts to his children. He gives what we need for the moment, but also for advancement of his kingdom come on earth, in the individual ministries and situations that he places us in.
shalom, matt
Final note: I am placing a link on the sidebar for an online spiritual gift inventory. I haven't done this particular one myself, but I've done a similar one. If you don't like this one you can Google”spiritual gift inventory" and find one.
I had this thought at Starbucks whilst using the bathroom. To preface this I should let you know that I walked in on a guy who had just finished washing his hands (thank God), and who apparently doesn’t know how to lock a door. I mean, really, how hard is it to wait for the door to shut and push the little button in all the way? But I digress…
This would be a tremendous waste of time, but you can't tell me that part of you doesn't want to try it at home.
shalom, matt
If you have not as of yet read The Chronicles of Narnia you are a literary idiot and I feel sorry for you (okay, you aren't an idiot, but you are very silly). I just finished them tonight and feel...I don't know...triumphant is the first word that came to my mind. Yes, triumphant. I feel like I have won a great contest, however vicariously, through the characters in the story. I feel like I know Aslan (which I do, but in our world he is called by a different name). I wanted to share an excerpt from The Last Battle. But, before I do that, I want to preface it with a thought or two.
One day I'm going to die, and, for that matter, so are you. I don't really fear my death, though I certainly don't look forward to it either. Frankly, as long as I don't drown or burn to death I don't care how I go. Something not painful would be great if I can make my opinion known on the matter. I'm not sure if God reads blogs, but, in the off-chance that He does, I'm throwing my two cents in on the matter. This is all to say that I have realized tonight what the first words out of my mouth will be, moments, nanoseconds, after crossing over out of the "shadowlands" (to coin Lewis' phrase). Originally it comes from the mouth of Jewel the Unicorn (not the folk singer), but I have full intention upon stealing it at my death.
I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Come further up, come further in!
Anyone else echo those sentiments?
shalom, matt
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