Love, Faith, and the Tension of Choosing Well, part 2

I've sold one car in the last two weeks.

One.

That's not quite gonna cover the light bill, if you get what I'm sayin'. I'm supposed to be making a living off of selling cars. This is supposed to pay my bills, support my family and give me some extra cash to one day put my kid through college.

One car.

Want to learn how to trust God? Become a car salesman. There are two days left in the pay period after today and I need to sell a couple more cars in that two day period. Certainly that is within the realm of possibility, but with traffic being down and the fact that I'm like a dog trying to chew on a rubber ball (meaning, I don't know how to sell cars), I'm starting to get a little nervous.

But I'm holding on to trust. And a little hope. Funny how those two things often go hand in hand, eh? I have no idea if I'm going to get those two or three more sales. And if I don't, I'm not sure where that leaves me financially. Or spiritually. Trusting in a God that you can't see, feel, or experience in the normal senses of those words, is a bit like trusting in the reality of a naugahyde chihuahua just because your cousin Larry told you they are real and that he saw one "with my own two eyes; almost hit it with my truck." I don't know if that analogy makes any sense at all, but I know that trusting God doesn't make any logical, earthly sense either.

But I still do. More now than ever before. I don't have any choice. I have to. I won't make it in this business or this life unless I absolutely trust that God is somehow going to care for my family even when cars aren't flying off the lot, a la right now. I have every reason to trust him. He's cared for me even when my faith is a disaster and I don't trust the reality of gravity, much less the invisible Gravity of the universe, holding all things together in Christ, including my blip of a life.

Is God going to send me customers that can buy cars so I can be taken care of financially. I hope so. I'm praying for it. Every night. During the day. Pretty much constantly. But I do now this: somehow He'll make the whole thing work out.

I'm holding on to that for now.

shalom, matt