Carnival Rides

Do you ever get tired of yourself? I know that sounds like a ridiculous question to even consider, but I'm kind of to that point. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or even to the point of self-hatred. I'm just tired of making the same mistakes, over and over, in a never-ending carousel of frustration and disappointment and promises. I want to get off the carousel. It's starting to make me sick. It's ridiculous, really. I gorge myself on crappy, grease-soaked carnival food, hop on a pony for another go-around, and then wonder why I'm staggering away from the ride with the bitter taste of bile and funnel cake in my mouth, looking for the nearest port-o-crapper to vomit behind. Meanwhile, the carny that sold me the food and the ticket to ride is laughing hysterically, while pocketing my money and celebrating his knowledge of the fact that I'll be back again tomorrow night with another fist-full of cash and an insatiable and despised hunger for funnel cakes and carousels.

Know what I mean?

shalom, matt